Enough talk. . . on to the lists!
5.) Rob Gordon, High Fidelity (2000) - John Cusack With a bullet. And no, in case you're wondering, his inclusion should not be interpreted as a by-default-homage to the catalyst for this blog, not that such a tribute wouldn't've been completely justified. In truth, I have an unhealthy obsession with the film. I've seen it more than When Harry Met Sally (which is to say, a whole hell of a lot). And each time I watch it I find myself wanting desperately to be Rob Gordon in all his record-store-owning nerdy-hipster-elitist-friend-having improbably-hot-ex-girlfriend-stalking sonic-death-monkey-hating manic-depressive glory.Favorite line(s): "Charlie, you fucking bitch. Let's work it out!"
4.) R.P. McMurphy, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) - Jack Nicholson Back in the day when his practice of dating twenty year olds wasn't quite so icky. This role gives us Jack in his prime. Devilish grin? Check. Creepy, mischievous eyebrows? Check. More charisma in a tiny twitch of the facial tissue than any one human being should be capable of producing with his entire body?a The film also marked the entrance of "Nurse Ratched" into the lexicon as a term of endearment for nagging, overbearing wives. Try it out on your old lady tonight and see if it doesn't just roll off the tongue like a buttered marble. In the interest of full disclosure, I suppose I should acknowledge the fact that six years separate 1975 and the day I finally ripened on the old umbilical cord. No matter. That I watched it for the first time on VHS gives me some sort of credibility, right?. . . Right?. . . Right.Favorite line(s): "Is that crazy enough for ya? Want me to take a shit on the floor?"
3.) The Sheriff of Nottingham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) - Alan Rickman A.K.A. the counterweight to Costner's yawn-inspiring performance (aided in no small part by the leading star's trademarked now-you-hear-it, now-you-don't British-ish accent) and the reason I'll still watch this movie from beginning to end every blessed time it encores on TNT. If I ever put up a "Top 5 Most Creative Ways to Kill Someone" category, his heart removal via spoon will most certainly make an appearance. Honestly now, does any other working actor play bad quite as good? What would Die Hard have been without his Hans Gruber? Harry Potter without his Severus Snape? Quigley Down Under without his Elliot Marston? (Go look it up.) In the words of everyone's favorite preggo teen: As far as villains go, Alan Rickman is totally boss.Favorite line(s): "Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas."
2.) William Cutting, Gangs of New York (2002) - Daniel Day-Lewis It takes a certain breed of actor to make a racist, blood-thirsty sociopath this likeable. I find I'm somewhat addicted to Day-Lewis these days. His portrayal of Bill the Butcher was about as magnetic as anything I've ever seen, and his performance in this year's There Will Be Blood was pants-soilingly good. If his output volume over the past decade is any indication, he won't appear on-screen again for another three years. That's okay, though. Quality over quantity and all that. When he does decide to come back, bringing with him that awesome stage presence and incomparable intensity, you can bet I'll be there on opening night, ass firmly planted in-seat, with bells on. And an extra pair of boxers, just in case.Favorite line(s): "That, my friends, is the minority vote."
1.) Mickey O'Neil, Snatch (2000) - Brad Pitt
Never mind that I didn't understand a word he said the first time I saw it. (And only marginally more the second time.) Mickey O'Neil is the coolest character in a movie preoccupied with its own coolness, and my personal pick for the coolest male film role of all-time. He's brash, ("Ya got a deadly kick fer a fat focker), unapologetically vocal about his bowel movements, ("I need to have a shite!"), and routinely beats the hell out of men thrice his size, for whom a single bare-fisted shot to the noggin often proves too much to endure. You've gotta give it to Guy Richie for conceiving a character that so fully embodies the essence of raw, testosterone-fueled maledom, and you've gotta give it to Brad Pitt for pulling the whole thing off so nicely. Kind of ironic, though. Who'd've thought the most memorable character in the Richie Universe was destined to be played by an American? Oh, so you disagree? Bollocks, you say? How shall we decide it, then?
I'll fight ya fer it. You'n me.
Favorite Line: "ThfockdIwantacaravanthatsgotnofocknwheels?"
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28 comments:
oh Gibbsy, my eharmony love. I fear the mention of this top 5 could keep me from studying for a long time. I fully plan on replying, but not until I have given this some long, hard thought. Also, are you becoming elitist (maybe due to watching High Fidelity repeatedly?)? I mean, why wouldn't you have chosen one of the many men from the Big Lebowski? Are you too good for Walter Sobchak?
Anywhoo, excellent blog. I fear that my grades are going down...just like each one of you who try the top 5!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Much love,
Confer
Gibbs,
First of all, your choices are excellent, each character is certainly a bad ass in his own way. And after finishing snatch, I was further convinced that Brad Pitt happens to choose only the coolest roles that hollywood can offer. Others: Fight Club, Ocean's 11,12,13, Seven, etc. Anyway, Here's what I've come up with in the last 15 minutes of debate.
5. Edmund Dantes - The Count of Monte Cristo - Jim Caviezel in his B.C. years. Dantes learns to knife-fight, sword-fight, stumbles upon buried treasure, kills his best friend, gets his girl and his son back and the whole time has a side-kick, Jackopo. Although he later is crucified for the sins of the world... wait, no.
4. Huo Yuanjia - Fearless - Jet Li - Clearly you can see why this is one of the coolest male roles - he kicks the crap out of everyone.
3. Doc Holliday - Tombstone - Val Kilmer - How many times do you hear people try to quote the line "I'm your huckleberry," and sound like complete tools? OFTEN. Because no one can say it quite like Val. When you are the fastest gun, the best Pharoah player, and have the lawmen behind you, you've got to be cool.
2. Rick Blaine - Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart - Similar to Rob Gordon in his cynical attitude, Rick owns his own place, and has a loyal pianist. (I don't think Rob Gordon had a pianist.) Rick is just a bad A.
1. V - V for Vendetta - Hugo Weaving - That is right. V is the classic sacrificial hero and lover of the finer things. V is cool and collected, he is a thief, a radical, a warrior, an idealist, a poet, and a classic film lover. (his favorite character - Edmund Dantes... eh? eh?!) "Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."
That's my five. enjoy.
Confer:
That's the thing about limiting it to five (as opposed to ten)... sacrifices must be made. And screw studying. You'll go a lot further in life by spending your days compiling Top 5 Lists.
Bob:
Good stuff. Haven't seen Fearless yet. Will have to check that out. And the other four were great choices. I maybe should've thought of Doc Holliday. Shame on me.
-Ryan
So how come we don't get to post fun/cool pictures of our male role pics?? Either way, I'm going to assume that the parent movies themselves don't have to be Oscar worthy... just the nature of the male role. With that said...
5. Beck, The Rundown (2003) - Dwayne Johnson (formerly The Rock) plays the aspiring chef who moonlights as a bounty hunter / mob stooge and gets to beat the living daylights out of anyone and everyone in sight. Seriously. 104 minutes of adrenaline and testosterone. Not to mention you get to see Ernie Reyes Jr. (the pizza guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze). The more I think about this, I'm finding that I want to rank this higher. Moving on.
4. Trent Walker, Swingers (1996) - Vince Vaughn as a cool, smooth-talking wannabe actor who plays jedi mind tricks over Las Vegas waitresses? I think so. Classic car, money suits, NHL Hockey '94 and a seemingly endless supply of money to visit the Voodoo Lounge and Dresden. Double down.
3. Billy Ray Valentine, Trading Places (1983) - Eddie Murphy as the rags-to-riches street hustler turned financial guru... all on the wager of a dollar. One minute he's rolling himself down a street asking for change, the next he's living it up in Louis Winthorpe III's mansion making millions of dollars on pork bellies and frozen orange juice. "Looking good, Billy Ray." "Feeling good, Louis."
2. Sgt. Nicholas Angel, Hot Fuzz (2007) - Simon Pegg plays police constable turned sergeant for 121 minutes of laughs and shoot-em-up tomfoolery alongside Nick Frost as PC Danny Butterman in the psychotic small town of Sandford. Just go see it.
1. Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003) - Grey or White, Ian McKellen kicks ass for 10 hours all throughout Middle Earth. I really shouldn't have to explain this one. Though I will say that Albus Dumbledore had quite a bit of stock in this competition... but at the end of the day, his role isn't quite made out to be as much of a bad ass in the movies as in the books.
Nam, I have got to say... some good choices... I did think of Beck and Gandalf, but Nicholas Angel - I should have thought of him. I second that choice. Well done.
Thank you sir - likewise with your choices! It's pretty darn hard to choose just 5... and there are so many different criteria you could judge against. Huo Yuanjia was an excellent choice. Loved that movie.
5. Ferris Bueller – Matthew Broderick from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Is this too cliché? I couldn’t really decide, which is why he’s number 5. But how can you argue with the guy who can unite not only his entire school, but the entire city of Chicago. He catches a fly ball, pretends to be the Sausage King of Chicago, and commandeers a parade float, and all while wearing a SWEATER VEST. That takes some serious cool points to over come the coolness deficit from the vest.
4. Knox Overstreet – Dead Poets Society
not a revolutionary like Charlie Dalton, or a martyr like Neil, but a hopeless romantic. He latches onto the theme of Carpe Diem like no one else in this film and goes after the girl of his dreams with full force – not worrying about how he looks or what the consequences might be. And she is helpless to resist him and his poetry, especially with his sly spin move when she finally concedes to go to the play with him at the end.
3. Strider/Aragorn – Viggo Mortensen in The Fellowship of the Ring
He’s a warrior in a hoodie. Okay, so it’s a cloak with a hood, but still. He’s dark and mysterious, but still stands up for the little guy, and somehow finds the time to romance an elf princess – who is a strong warrior woman in her own right. And we always love a man who is not threatened by a strong woman.
2. Lloyd Dobbler – John Cusack in Say Anything
He’s cool, he’s principled (see his “sold, bought, processed speech), and loves everyone around him unconditionally. It can all be summed up in a few lines of dialogue from the beginning of the movie in which his three girl friends ask “if you were Diane Court would you honestly fall for Lloyd? “ All three reply, “yeah”, and they are right - we would, and we have fallen for you Lloyd.
1. Sundance Kid – Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
He’s the perfect sidekick to Paul Newman (who gets an honorable mention for this and for Cool Hand Luke.) He’s the sharp shooter with the sharp wit that always has his friend’s back. And what’s cooler than an outlaw from the old west?
I like it, Stephanie.
Yeah, Ferris Bueller is a fairly safe, conventional choice, but you made up for it with that Knox Overstreet pick. Very nice. Ballsy, even.
I like that name -- Knox Overstreet. It's like the screenwriter thumbed through an entire dictionary of baby names, was utterly unsatisfied with the selection and said "Screw it, I'll just call him Knox Overstreet."
Where'd Confer go?
So in the end...I am a hypocrite. Because here is my list and we all know who is missing...
5) Jules - Pulp Fiction - Samuel L. Jackson: 1) Quentin doesn't make a character who couldn't fit on this list 2) I really don't want anyone else but Samuel to quote Ezekiel to me (although I would appreciate it not being the last moments of my life) 3) I enjoy him waxing intellectual about the true meaning of a foot rub and 4) who else can make brain matter in your afro look cool?
4) Rhett Butler - Gone with the Wind - Clark Gable: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." I appreciate a man who can handle a strong woman...
3) "Fletch F. Fletch" (Erwin Fletcher)- Fletch - Chevy Chase: He gets cooler every time I watch this movie. He doesn't take himself too seriously, but then again he doesn't take anyone else seriously either. He manages to solve crime, write for a paper, while being the most quick-witted male roles ever written AND woos the ladies (where does he get the time?). "Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo."
2)Patton - George C Scott - Patton:
Ok, this is where you tell me that you have never seen this movie and that I am just trying to look like I know a lot about movies (well, I do, but that is not the point ;)). Also, you may be thinking, that this one is cheating because this actually was a real person and again you have a good point, but this is MY list. DEAL with it. The portrayal of this WW2 general is incredible and if you have never seen this movie you really should. You love and hate this character at the same time, but he is absolutely cool..."Rommel, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!"
1) Michael Corleone - Godfather I and II (not a hater of III, but again, MY list) - Al Pacino: What role of Pacino's is NOT cool? The hardest part was choosing between which of the many cool male roles he portrays is "the coolest”? After long thought and many restless nights, I have decided it has to be Michael. The young Italian who tries to stay out of the family and who gets dragged back in and ends up being forced to kill most of his family and friends due to those people killing his family and friends. But throughout it all, "It's not personal, just business". I mean the man blows up his brother.
Ryan, my dearest, thank you for the opportunity to realize how many cool male roles there are. Thank you for choosing Rob Gordon, as I also am obsessed with that movie (maybe another little factoid that brought us together on eharmony).
Stephanie- I don’t think Ferris was “easy” or “safe” as long as you would have his lovechild (as indicated in the rules laid out by Ryan).
Nam- Billy Ray was killer….killer.
Bob- I also am mad that I didn’t think of Doc Holiday faster (brilliant!)…but I almost put Chris Knight from Real Genius (not as cool, but still Val and very cool, OH and then there is Iceman...but he is not SUPER cool).
PS: I am now failing nursing school…thanks Gibbsy ;)
Love,
Confer
When is the deadline for submissions? I need to do some more research but I definitely don't want to miss out on the fun!
Last night I watched Bullitt trying to determine if (Steve McQueen's real life unflappable coolness aside) Bullitt is a cooler character than Barry Newman as Kowalski in Vanishing Point. I haven't yet come up with a winner, and I'm not sure either will make the top 5 as you know I'm going to have The Bandit up there. I don't want a list comprised solely of white dudes who drive muscle cars really well.
More research is needed! Is James Dean cooler as Cal or as Jett? When is the cutoff? I need boundaries!!
Let's call it this coming Saturday, March 8th, 11:59PM CST. I'll post a new category on Sunday.
I'm not numbering these. You can't make me.
Gilbert Blythe - Anne of Green Gables/Avonlea - I don't want to know his real name – because I watched this movie dozens of times growing up, and I can’t quite get over how Canadian boys pronounce sorry.
Vincent – Excess Baggage – Benicio del Toro – because he’s a good-hearted criminal with a sexily drunken voice. an accent never hurt anybody.
Zachary Beaulieu – C.R.A.Z.Y. - Marc-Andre Grondin – because.
Reece Daniel Thompson – Rocket Science – Hal Hefner – because he finally finds a way to vocally select cafeteria food
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Charlie Wilson’s War - Gust Avrakotos – he breaks glass with a hammer (or some sort of tool like that) AND HE IS A BAD ASS ALL THE TIME.
You know... the very nature of these lists are inherently flawed. I mean, how can anyone stick by their 5 after reading everyone else's?!? After a great deal of thought, you still find yourself saying, "Oh MAN... I should have thought of that!"
Also, I must have incorrectly named mine since Confer gave a paragraph response to everyone... everyone but me. "... not so fast George Banks!" = )
Gibbles,
I love this blog. And I love you. So please know that I mean no disrespect with these picks. I'm just feeling a bit inferior in my lack of movie knowledge, so my best effort is tongue-in-cheek sarcasm. Although, I will stand by my picks.
5. (Tie) Nicolas Cage & John Travolta – Face/Off
It’s not fair really. They both get to play not one but two cool guys.
4. Matthew McConaughey – Dazed and Confused
You want cool? How much cooler can you get than a 20-something burnout scoping freshmen girls. And that moustache? Game over.
3. Peter Weller – RoboCop
He’s half robot for crying out loud!
2. Pat Morita – Karate Kid
Mr. Miyagi. He makes bonsai trees, fishes, works as the maintenance man for an apartment complex that looks like a Motel 6, and with the help of quick cut editing, can kick some serious ass.
1. Hilary Swank – Boy’s Don’t Cry
I’m still not convinced she’s not a dude.
Oh, this is Weed, by the way.
Nam...I was using abruptness for emphasis on how much I la la loved the entry of Billy Ray...and "I want the chipper chicken."
Weed...you make mama so proud!
Weed: Mr. Miyagi scored you some serious points. Well done.
Holly: Maybe the most unconventional list of the bunch. I like it.
Justin: Still planning to post a list? ('jb' is Barklay, right?)
New Category!!!
I was going to give jb a little more time to think, but yeah, I'll post a new one tomorrow.
Sorry for the delay, folks. I kept changing my mind and putting this off to conduct more research, and I've actually had to work quite a bit lately which has really cut into my internet browsing time. Thus I give you, in true last minute, 70% of what it could be had I vested more time fashion, my list:
Richard Roundtree as John Shaft in Shaft
Hilariously funny dialog. Everything about this movie is cool. This is what every Tarantino film has wanted to be, and I say that as a big Tarantino fan. Listen to the theme and try to deny how cool this man is. Can ya dig it?
Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High
The quintessential stoner/high school bro. If this guy existed at your high school there's no way you wouldn't want to be his friend. Spicoli is always my go-to impression for any stoner or hippie. "Aloha, Mr. Hand!"
Burt Reynolds as The Bandit in Smokey and the Bandit
Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure the director's job on this picture involved nothing more than placing Burt in that Trans-Am and saying "go be yourself".
Clint Eastwood as "the man with no name" in The Dollars Trilogy
Clint redefined the classic cowboy hero as a dark, morally ambiguous loner. He spends most of the three movies squinting, smoking, and only speaking when he really has to. For a while he goes around using only one hand, the other reserved solely for shooting. Bad ass.
Bruce Campbell as Ash in Evil Dead 1, 2, and especially Army of Darkness
I'm sure Holly will agree with me on this one. The greatest B movie actor in the world in the role that was made for him (and by him). The first two are pretty standard, though entertaining, horror movies. Actually it's almost the same movie done twice. Regardless, the character really comes to life in Army of Darkness. I don't even know how to describe it, except to say that it's cheesy and ridiculous and totally awesome. See this movie.
oh yeah, this is Barclay
yes, please send all your zombie movies to me.....so i can BURN them and send the ashes far, far away to space.
So yeah, I know I said I'd have a new category posted by now, but school's throwing me a beating at the moment. I'm aiming for Thursday. Friday, at the latest.
(Sorry for the repeat... was using the wrong acct.)
5.) Tony Manero, Saturday Night Fever (1977)- John Travolta. He can dance, he has great hair, he looks hot in bell bottoms, he knows he's the shit, he makes my list.
Favorite line: "Would ya just watch the hair! Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair!"
4.) Billy Elliot, Billy Elliot (2000)- Jamie Bell. Again with the dancing, but this kid is so awesome. He gets on the list for going against the grain, rising above, following his dream, proving the naysayers wrong, yada yada yada.
Favorite line: "Just because I like ballet doesn't mean I'm a poof, you know."
3.) Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver (1976)- Robert Deniro. Too obvious a choice? Maybe. But he fits the cool definition so perfectly: if you're a dude, you want to be him. If you're a girl, you want him to save you. And lovechildren? Yes please.
Favorite line: "Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore... Here is a man who stood up."
2.) Bob, Down By Law (1986)- Roberto Benigni. One of my favorite movies and one of my favorite actors. Bob is an oddball, a clumsy foreigner who knows little English, likes ice cream, and can't swim. Basically the coolest guy ever.
Favorite line: "It is a sad and beautiful world."
1.) Clarence Worley, True Romance (1993)- Christian Slater. I can't believe no one has named him yet. He likes kung-fu and Elvis. He falls in love with his call girl, marries her, and buys her a hamburger on the way home from killing her pimp. Be still my heart.
Favorite line: "He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?"
Note: I can only assume we have an unspoken rule here to not repeat selections, and therefore my list is slightly less perfect than it would have been if Justin had not stolen Clint Eastwood. I would also like to bring to everyone's attention that had the man with no name not been claimed, he would have trumped Travolta, thus leaving my list to represent 5 roles from 5 different decades, which, let's be honest, would have been totally sweet.
Clarence Worley was so good. I almost did the Christopher Walken character in True Romance..."You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything."
I love your blog name...
"i'm the anti-christ. you got me in a vendetta kinda mood." that's my favorite walken quote from that movie.
Winner now posted. New category to go up tomorrow.
Oh, to see it I think you might have to click "2008" or "March" under Blog Archive on the right side of the page.
You'll have to forgive me... still learning how to work this blog thing. Finally figured out the internets not too long ago.
New category posted: http://desertislandtopfives.blogspot.com/
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